Conflict: Part 3

This is Part 3 in a series on conflict and leadership. You may want to read Part 1 and Part 2 before you continue.

Listen to the five-minute Conflict: Part 3 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

Seek first to understand, and only then to be understood.

Seeking first to understand, then be understood is a term coined by Steven Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  Seeking first to understand, and only then to be understood, is at the core of engaging healthy conflict.

Conflict: Part 2

This is Part 2 in a series on conflict and leadership. You may want to read Part 1 before you continue.

Listen to the five-minute Conflict: Part 2 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

Truth without love can be mean and love without truth can be a lie. We all need both truth and love.

Today’s post is the second in a series on conflict: the importance of engaging it proactively and how to do it in a healthy way.

Conflict: Part 1

Listen to the five-minute Conflict: Part 1 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

Truth without love can be mean, and love without truth can be a lie.

Today’s post kicks off a series on conflict and how to deal with it in healthy ways—yet another critical trait for any Christian leader.

Hardship: Part 3

This is the third in a series on hardship. You might want to read Part 1 and Part 2 before diving into today’s post.

Looking back over my seven years of infertility, I can see how much God changed me through that particular hardship. As I break that down, think about parallels in your own life. Our world is broken. Hardships will come. The beauty of God is that he uses all things for his glory, even our most painful experiences. Here’s what God did for me:

Hardship: Part 2

Before diving into my story of hardship, take a look at Hardship: Part 1. Ready? All right, let’s go.

My husband and I decided to have a baby in October 2002. After eleven months, I got pregnant. Six weeks later, I miscarried. Seven months later I was pregnant again, and six weeks after that, I wasn’t.  But it was okay. I was fine, even if my smile was becoming a bit brittle. God had everything under control, right? God had a plan, and it was my job to just trust in that plan…Right? Then my sister-in-law got pregnant the first month they tried and I. Fell. Apart.

Hardship: Part 1

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

For years I hated this verse—strong language, but true. I’ll tell you why in a bit. But first, hardship. We all face hardship in life. They can provoke those dark winters of the soul: doubt, fear, uncertainty, rage, bitterness. And in the end, they also provoke our greatest growth. That was certainly the case for me. I wouldn’t be where I am in life now if I hadn’t experienced seven dark and difficult years.

Adversity and Growth

Listen to the five-minute Adversity and Growth audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

Suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance produces character; and character, produces hope.  And hope does not disappoint us.

I’m sure you are familiar with the passage from Romans 5, which I just paraphrased. I suspect you’ve also heard the expression, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

I’ve had the privilege of guiding many leaders through their past in order to explore how God had been forming them along the way. Part of the process is to explore what was happening when their deepest learning and growth happened.  Virtually every time I’ve done this, each person has said that he or she learned more during difficult times than good times.

Fear Part 4: Wrap Up

(This is Part 4 in a series on fear and leadership. If you haven’t already, take a minute to read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.)

Listen to the five-minute Courage and Faith Wrap Up audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

Today’s post in the fourth and final part of my series on Fear. In the first post I wrote about the most prevalent fear I see in people: uncertainty or the unknown. In the second post I wrote about the antidote to that poisonous fear: faith. In my last post I wrote about courage and how that helps us when we lack faith. However, if we have faith, we need no courage. 

Anxiety and Leadership: Part 3

Listen to the five-minute Anxiety and Leadership: Part 3 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

In my last two posts I’ve written about how we can’t engage our thinking brains when we’re anxious and about how anxiety, when introduced into a living system, spreads like wildfire. Today, I’m going to share what you can do to be proactive in becoming less anxious, to become inflammable, so to speak. The ability to stay calm in anxious situations is a key trait for Christian leaders. It’s so important to learn how to be the best you even in the face of anxiety, even when the system is on fire and looking to use you as fuel to further spread that anxiety.

Anxiety and Leadership: Part 2

Listen to the five minute Anxiety and Leadership: Part 2 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

In today’s post I’m going to continue with the topic I discussed late time: anxiety and leadership. In the past post I shared with you that “Anxiety makes me stupid.”

I talked about how to manage anxiety. First, learn to recognize it. Second, back away; don’t engage the issue until you’ve managed your anxiety. Third, learn what you can do to best manage your anxiety in the moment. And finally, don’t avoid the issue altogether. Reengage once your emotions have gained control of your emotions.

 Because anxiety makes us stupid, it spreads like a wild fire. One person gets anxious and starts to “vibrate” inside. (Remember that shaken up Coke can from my last post?)  This causes them to vibrate outside, which then causes another person, or more, to vibrate inside, then outside… and on it goes.