Communication: Part 4

This is part four in a series on communication. You may want to take a look at Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 before you continue.

Listen to the five-minute Communication: Part 4 audio program from Coach’s Corner. 

I had the distinct privilege (and misfortune) to play high school basketball against Magic Johnson, so I followed his career pretty closely through college and the NBA.

In my last post I shared that I once heard  Magic Johnson say he felt 100 percent responsible for the success of every pass he threw. If he threw a great pass but the receiver muffed it, he felt 100 percent responsible for the failure. Wow. Tough, but great if you really care about the transaction!

I believe the same should be true for speakers. The person speaking should take 100 percent responsibility for the effective transfer of the message. And the listener should also take 100 percent responsibility for the transfer of the message.

So if you as the speaker are 100 percent responsible for the communication transaction, what should you do? I would suggest you start by realizing a few things:

Don’t expect that the listeners got it exactly right, especially on the first try.

Communicating important information four times, four ways is a good target. Maybe telling the receiver is the first way. You could follow this by an email, then a follow-up conversation to see if the receiver has responded in the way you would expect, then some feedback, either positive or constructive to communicate again what your expectation was and how the receiver did.

Here’s an example of communicating multiple times in multiple ways:

1. I tell a colleague that we need to step up our sales efforts. In doing so, I ask her to contact five potential customers in the next week to see if any might be interested in our products or services.
2. I follow up with an email confirming what I shared in the conversation.
3. I check with my colleague ten days later to see if she followed through (communicating that I really meant what I said and checking to see that she really understood me).
4. Then I give her positive feedback for doing it, or give some constructive feedback for not doing it. This clearly communicates one more time what was expected, and that I really meant what I shared with her originally.

This is just one example of communicating something four times, four ways.

What else can you do as a speaker to best ensure effective communication?

• Realize you will often say the wrong words, thinking you’re saying the right words. Our brains don’t always say what we mean. They seem to have minds of their own.
• Remember that many English words have double meanings. This is used for some classic comedy, like Abbot and Costello’s “Who’s on first?” skit, but in reality it’s usually not so funny.
• Ask people to tell you, in their own words, what they think you said.  This is a simple and often very effective way of getting at any misunderstandings
• Give your listeners some examples, like what I did with you a moment ago, to help them understand what you are saying.
• Ask your listeners for examples that would embody what you’re telling them.

My bottom line advice that I’m trying to follow myself: Assume that communication is effective only 70 percent of the time.  Don’t assume that you said what you meant, or that they heard what you were saying, or that others have the same definition of words that you do.

So when somebody does something that appears to be stupid or mean or immoral, ask yourself if it might be a misunderstanding. It often is! Yes, effective communication is hard work, but it can be done, and it is an important characteristic of great leaders.

This week, think about how you’re communicating. How might you improve? Until next time, I pray that you experience God’s rich blessings.

Post by Rodger.
Image by SuperUbO.

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